Packet of Wildflower Seeds

Halloween is approximately one and a half weeks away. How did that happen? I put up decorations. We have gone to Zoo Boo. Somehow, it still doesn't feel like Halloween season. The uncharacteristically warm weather might contribute to that fact. I imagine that I haven't paused long enough to soak up autumn, either. When I think about experiencing holidays, I often think about what made them special during my childhood. To that extent, I have determined that certain holidays are associated with certain rooms in my parents' house. Thanksgiving, not surprisingly, makes me think of the dining room. That is pretty much the only day of the year we use the room for its intended purpose. Christmas makes me think of the living room. Many evenings I would sit on the couch and listen to Christmas music while all the lights were off except the ones on the tree. My mom does a great job decorating the tree, and I felt very calm and present in those moments. What about Halloween? Most ...

Today was testing day for students at my school, which meant the juniors took the PSAT. Lately, I've been thinking a lot about the day I took the PSAT.  I was sitting in a classroom, probably on the third floor, with my pencils and calculator ready, listening to the morning announcements. At the end, one of the guidance counselors got on the system and informed us that she needed to make a special announcement. She said the administrators carefully considered whether the information should be given to us immediately preceding such an important test, but they ultimately felt that we had the right to know, especially since rumors were probably already circulating.  What news did we hear that autumn morning? A student had committed suicide. She was in the grade below mine and, if I recall correctly, had been in my math class. I didn't really know her, but I remember the shock and sadness that fell over the school in the aftermath of this heartbreaking revelation. We held a...

I have five or six topics saved that I mean to discuss eventually. Some of them would work really well right now: an exploration of prayer or perhaps a reflection on last year's trip to Scotland, for example. While I look forward to writing and sharing those posts, I decided to go a little darker tonight. Currently, I am in a pretty stable position when it comes to my anxiety and depression. When I am stressed, lonely, or sad, though, the negative voices get louder. They become more convincing. They always tell me that I am not enough. I am not enough for my family. I don't know how to clean, organize, prepare meals, and still find quality time with them. I don't think I read enough to my kids. No matter what I accomplish in the morning, it comes at the expense of something else. I may have done a load of laundry and hung it outside, put away yesterday's load, and washed the dishes, but my son was on his tablet that morning. Maybe another day I took him to play spor...