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Showing posts from May, 2018

I Am Not a Car

Many years ago, I read a letter to the editor that really gave me pause. In it, a (presumably young) man insisted that instead of promoting abstinence-only programs, Christians should encourage individuals to engage in sex before marriage. The reason, he explained, was that couples need to know if they are sexually compatible before making a commitment. "You wouldn't buy a car without test driving it first," he declared. I am not going to debate the merits of various sex-education programs, nor will I philosophize about the morality of anyone's life decisions. I want to focus on this particular claim and how laughable it is. First of all, it is offensive to be compared to a car. I am not an object to be tested and purchased; marriage is not a transaction. Marriage (at least, the sacramental kind) is a covenant. That means husband and wife mutually pledge themselves to each other for the duration of their natural lives. There is no "buyer" and "selle

The Kardashian Effect

I remember after Kim Kardashian posted a typically revealing picture she expressed frustration that people labeled her a poor role model. She said that since she doesn't get in trouble with the law and doesn't drink or do drugs she didn't understand why it would make anyone upset that she was proud of her body and shared that with the world. I agree with the naysayers: I think the Kardashians are terrible role models. The reason has both everything and nothing to do with their controversial pictures. It's not that they post the pictures; it's that they ONLY post those pictures. No matter how hard the Kardashians claim they work, their success is entirely built around image. They peddle clothing, cosmetics, and diet pills by convincing us we have to look a certain way in order to be acceptable. The waist trainers, the lip kits, the "revenge body," - all of their products are tied into conforming to societal beauty standards. Furthermore, despite the f

A Sensitive Subject

I feel very grateful that I have never experienced physical abuse. I was the victim of emotional abuse in high school, however, when I repeatedly turned down a classmate's request to date. Eventually he told me I was the reason he was depressed and he tried to make me feel like a terrible person. I have friends who have experienced much worse. Girls were told they were the "worst thing that happened" to their partners. A classmate claimed that her bruises, visible during pool class, were from martial arts, but we all knew better. One of my closest friends had an ex who attempted suicide and wrote a note essentially blaming her. She was smart enough to realize it wasn't her fault, but she was still very traumatized by the experience. Then there are the girls who simply cease to exist after beginning a relationship; nothing remains of their former personalities as they transform into extensions of their partners. Change is inevitable - and even welcomed - but there is