A Sensitive Subject

I feel very grateful that I have never experienced physical abuse. I was the victim of emotional abuse in high school, however, when I repeatedly turned down a classmate's request to date. Eventually he told me I was the reason he was depressed and he tried to make me feel like a terrible person.

I have friends who have experienced much worse. Girls were told they were the "worst thing that happened" to their partners. A classmate claimed that her bruises, visible during pool class, were from martial arts, but we all knew better. One of my closest friends had an ex who attempted suicide and wrote a note essentially blaming her. She was smart enough to realize it wasn't her fault, but she was still very traumatized by the experience. Then there are the girls who simply cease to exist after beginning a relationship; nothing remains of their former personalities as they transform into extensions of their partners. Change is inevitable - and even welcomed - but there is a difference between growth and a loss of individuality.

I was pondering my experiences and also contemplating the feelings of my friends as I wrote the poem below. I thought about all the reasons people stay in unhealthy relationships. Sometimes we simply believe the other person is genuinely a good person; he just needs more help than we do. Maybe we are afraid no one else will accept us. The fear of the unknown, especially tainted with the threat of loneliness, might be worse than a familiar pain. Perhaps kids are involved and we don't know how they will be affected. Maybe we don't have our own source of income and we don't know how we can survive on our own.

One of the scariest possibilities is that our faith tells us we have to stay. Some religions teach that men have a right to abuse women because we are their property. Other religions might condemn abuse but claim that it doesn't justify divorce. I imagine a woman, working hard to be a devoted wife and loving servant of God, might feel rejected by both her husband and her Lord if her efforts only result in continued pain.

Such a soul must be confused and very hurt. She might blame herself. She might feel guilty for staying even though she is intensely afraid of leaving. She might feel worthless. I combined those feelings into my poem, and I left it open to interpretation whether the woman is more concerned with God's favor or her husband's favor.

Fair warning: this poem is dark and contains somewhat stronger language. As I explained above, I wrote it not from my own experiences but from my perception of the experiences of others; I could be very wrong. Either way, my heart breaks for everyone dealing with abuse of any kind.

Pretty Little Common Whore

Nothing less and nothing more
Just a pretty little common whore
Turning tricks to earn your keep
Those sins poison your nightly sleep

He must want you, you tell the mirror
But the very words taste insincere
God has looked away from you
He must think you're worthless, too

You hide well your broken skin
And the tarnished soul that lies within
What would it mean to escape this place
To rediscover his loving grace?

He left his mark upon your cheek
To remind you that you are weak
And yet you stay within his bed
So you and your daughter are suitably fed

You're just a pretty little common whore
Go pick your life up off the floor
The sun will soon creep through the blinds
And expose the harlot that it finds