Field of Innocence

This summer I had the opportunity to attend an Evanescence concert. I started listening to Evanescence in high school; I appreciated that they touched upon deeper subjects, but they did so in a haunting, beautiful way rather than a make-your-ears-bleed style like heavy metal. Not everyone may like their music, but it's hard to argue that Amy Lee doesn't have a great voice.

One day I was listening to Pandora, and a song played from Evanescence's little-known demo album Origin. I really liked the song, so I tried to find it from other sources. This led me to YouTube and another song from Origin: "Field of Innocence." The song discusses the loss of childhood innocence and wonder. The powerful lyrics include the following:

I want to go back to believing in everything and knowing nothing at all

 This touches upon so many maternal nerves right now. First of all, time is passing too quickly. My kids are getting bigger, and I feel like these moments are slipping through my fingers. They won't be little for long. While I am excited to see them develop as unique individuals, I will also miss the way they approach the world with wonder and joy.

To me, "believing in everything" is not just about fairies and holiday mascots. Children believe in the essential goodness of the universe. Yes, by a young age, many individuals have experienced great pain and heartache, but in our country, the majority of children are optimistic. They believe the world is a good place because they haven't seen enough tragedy to doubt it. There are many days I wish I could return to "knowing nothing" about all the bad things that happen.

Optimism and enthusiasm are two reasons why I don't mind indulging in my kids' obsessions, even if they are sometimes fleeting. Think back to when getting a new toy - or even a toothbrush - with your favorite character could make your day. Part of what made Christmas and birthdays so exciting was the hope that you would get more of what you love. As we get older, we don't tend to geek out about things as much. We lose our passion not only for stories and characters, but life in general. As a result, life just isn't as magical anymore.

That makes me sad, so I want to let my kids be excited and full of hope for as long as possible...even if that means buying yogurt tubes just because the box has a picture of Batman!

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