Thoughts from my 16-year-old Self

The following is a journal entry from my junior year English class:

When people ask me what I want to do with my life, I usually have a response that seems certain, yet in actuality, I have no idea where I'm going. Sometimes I think that I know what career I want, but then I end up changing my mind. In the past six months I have changed my mind about these possibilities at least ten times. How am I supposed to know what I want to do when there are so many choices?

First there is the desire for a creative field. I cannot imagine life confined to limitations. I often dream of becoming an interior decorator or a fashion designer because of the freedom of those areas. I actually draw some of my own fashions, but I do not have the artistic skill required for either of those careers. Then I move into considering jobs that involve writing. I love to write, even though I don't think I'm very good at it. Words give me a chance to express myself or to create a fictitious world to substitute the one in which I live when things are hard. Creative writing is one of my favorite classes this year, and out of all the juniors in that class, I am the only one who actually does my homework. However, fields that involve writing also seem to involve restrictions and deadlines, two things that I cannot picture myself handling well.

For awhile I considered careers in health care. I didn't know what I could handle, though, of medical school with blood and dissections. I thought radiology would be a good choice because it only involves things such as x-rays. Then I recognized that it still required medical school, and after spending two weeks in the summer learning about different science careers and dissecting a very bloody fish, I felt I could not handle it. Physical therapy seemed like a good field; I would get to help people and be involved with their recovery. This would incorporate action and creativity as well as a desire to help others. From this idea branched the idea of sports medicine or concentration on a certain age group within the therapy, but somehow, my heart still doesn't seem completely with it.

I love science, but sometimes I am easily distracted. Many science careers mean little action, unless it is marine biology or something similar to that field; however, these careers make little money. While I honestly don't feel the need to make a lot of money, I don't want to make so little that it is hard to live off of. Some aspects of history also intrigue me, but there again I have no idea what I could go into with such an interest. The only thing I can think of would be teaching, and although this would be interesting, I don't think I have the patience to teach.

In the end, I am completely lost. Everyone tells us that we should have an idea of what we want to do in order to get a head start, but I have no idea where to go from here. Hopefully as I try new things and become more involved in subjects I will come closer to knowing, but until then, the question remains!

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