Parenting in the Time of COVID-19
This sure is a strange time, isn't it? Somehow, it also feels very normal. Perhaps that is due, in part, to the fact that so many things need to continue as before. Many of us still have to do our jobs, even if those jobs look different than they did prior to the quarantine. For those of us who are parents, we also still have to take care of our children.
And man, has that part been tough. My children are sent a daily list of recommended "enrichment" activities. The list itself is enough to fill a regular school day. Everywhere you turn, there are other suggestions about how to keep your kids active and engaged while they are at home. There are numerous live stream sessions involving art, music, dance, reading, fitness, science, and just about any topic you can imagine. You can take virtual field trips to national parks and museums. Plenty of other organizations have put together activities you can do with your family.
Here I sit. I have anxiety. My own school has decided to continue with remote instruction, so I have obligations there, as well. To be perfectly honest, this experience has been overwhelming at times. My kids don't always want to do their enrichment activities. Sometimes they fight in the background of our meetings. One time, the younger one dumped an entire bucket of water on the dining room floor. I remained calm as it spread toward my laptop cord, and we cleaned it up together, but it was one more crisis to manage.
I haven't always made my kids do everything their teachers send. Some days, I didn't make them do anything because I just couldn't focus enough on their work and my own. I made them go outside to color with chalk or told them to play with LEGOs. Yes, I have also let them use electronics more than usual. I'm in survival mode.
Survival mode doesn't feel good enough when the other parents share their photos online. There's the boy whose mom spent an afternoon helping him learn to ride his bike without training wheels. There's the mom who cooks homemade ethnic meals, who has four small children at home and whose husband has been away for several months on top of it all. There's the mom who turned math lessons into a hopscotch-like game. I cannot be as good as they are. Am I holding my kids back because I don't do enough for them? Are they going to be behind their peers because I didn't do the Smithsonian class?
I try to remind myself that I need to be kind to myself, too. The only things that are necessary are keeping everyone healthy and making sure my family feels loved. Anything else I manage to accomplish is a bonus.
What I tell myself and what I feel are often two very different things, though.
And man, has that part been tough. My children are sent a daily list of recommended "enrichment" activities. The list itself is enough to fill a regular school day. Everywhere you turn, there are other suggestions about how to keep your kids active and engaged while they are at home. There are numerous live stream sessions involving art, music, dance, reading, fitness, science, and just about any topic you can imagine. You can take virtual field trips to national parks and museums. Plenty of other organizations have put together activities you can do with your family.
Here I sit. I have anxiety. My own school has decided to continue with remote instruction, so I have obligations there, as well. To be perfectly honest, this experience has been overwhelming at times. My kids don't always want to do their enrichment activities. Sometimes they fight in the background of our meetings. One time, the younger one dumped an entire bucket of water on the dining room floor. I remained calm as it spread toward my laptop cord, and we cleaned it up together, but it was one more crisis to manage.
I haven't always made my kids do everything their teachers send. Some days, I didn't make them do anything because I just couldn't focus enough on their work and my own. I made them go outside to color with chalk or told them to play with LEGOs. Yes, I have also let them use electronics more than usual. I'm in survival mode.
Survival mode doesn't feel good enough when the other parents share their photos online. There's the boy whose mom spent an afternoon helping him learn to ride his bike without training wheels. There's the mom who cooks homemade ethnic meals, who has four small children at home and whose husband has been away for several months on top of it all. There's the mom who turned math lessons into a hopscotch-like game. I cannot be as good as they are. Am I holding my kids back because I don't do enough for them? Are they going to be behind their peers because I didn't do the Smithsonian class?
I try to remind myself that I need to be kind to myself, too. The only things that are necessary are keeping everyone healthy and making sure my family feels loved. Anything else I manage to accomplish is a bonus.
What I tell myself and what I feel are often two very different things, though.
Kristin, remember that what you see other parents posting on social media is their filtered, "created" lives. You're doing just what you need to do for you and your family. You're right: be kind to yourself and show love for your family.
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