To Friend or Not To Friend

I had this one friend in high school. Although we didn't talk often about significant issues, I socialized with her frequently. Though we went to separate colleges, we invited each other to parties and communicated online regularly. This continued after college - up until a certain point.

This girl met a boy. He was quiet in person, but online he was very vocal about his opinions. My friend soon adopted his views and started to share them as well. At first, they were tentative suggestions. Then they became loud proclamations. They included such beliefs as "if you do abc, then you are a bad Christian," and "if you do xyz, then you are a bad mother." She was the type of person to say that my depression was the result of too little exercise, saffron, and Jesus. After years of declining communication and an increasing number of these posts, I decided to unfriend her.

"Couldn't you just unfollow her?" You may ask. Indeed, that is an option on social media. The truth is, however, that I reserve my social media for people with whom I communicate in the real world. I'm there to share tidbits about my life and see pictures of your pets and babies. This former friend and I no longer texted, so I didn't see a need to remain friends online, either. Furthermore, she was explicit in her opinions. She didn't phrase them as "here is why I personally choose to live like this;" she said "if you don't do things this way, you are a bad person." If she thinks I am a bad person, why would she want to be my friend anyway?

And why would I want to be friends with someone who thought so poorly of me? I may struggle with self-esteem as part of my battle with depression and anxiety, but I realize I am worthy of relationships with people who respect me. Furthermore, I don't owe anything to anyone on social media. I'm not obligated to connect with you just because we went to school together. I am allowed to curate my online experience for the benefit of my mental health because I am deserving of peace and contentment.

You are, too.

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