Air Force Academy
My anniversary is approaching. In honor of that, I wanted to write a little about my husband. When I first told him that I was going to start a blog, he said he didn't mind if I sometimes talked about him. I suppose this will be a test of his sincerity!
J, as I will call him in the public sphere, went to the Air Force Academy. It was his goal to attend USAFA starting sophomore year of high school. He liked planes, and while he found the design of military jets to be particularly interesting, he thought the prospect of flying them was even more alluring. With the aim of becoming a pilot, J worked to gain his appointment to the academy. He was well into this process when I entered the picture, and our relationship was still new when he learned of his acceptance.
I was unsure what distance and a military commitment would mean for our future, but I was very supportive of J. He seemed pretty enthusiastic. A brief emotional withdrawal during my graduation party was the only hint of hesitance on his part. When it came time for him to leave, I traveled to Pittsburgh with his mother to see him off. His summer would be spent in basic cadet training, so I would only hear from him if he found a spare moment to write.
After a few days, I did start to receive a few letters from J. I think he mostly provided details about the training; the notes were devoid of any insight into his emotions. I was surprised and a little worried later in the summer when I missed a call from him with a message asking me to call him back. I was concerned that he had somehow gotten hurt. I was not expecting him to announce that he was leaving USAFA.
His mother and I again made the trip to Pittsburgh, this time to retrieve him. We stopped for lunch at a Cracker Barrel. When he called the waitress "ma'am," she laughed and said it was too formal. He then told her he was used to saying "sir" and "ma'am" because he was required to address people formally at the academy. He told her several stories from school, and he talked to us nonstop about his experiences. My husband does not talk a lot, so that was very out of character for him.
It seemed weird to me that J would have chosen to leave the Air Force Academy when all his stories were so positive. He said he felt like he fit in with his classmates. He didn't mind the more unpleasant aspects of basic training, choosing to think of the experience as a game. Yet, if you were to ask J today why he left, he wouldn't be able to answer with certainty.
It makes me uncomfortable to think that he may have stayed at the academy if he hadn't been in a relationship with me. I don't want to be part of any regrets he may have. Truthfully, though, I am glad he came back.
As I noted in an earlier post, college was when I first sought counseling. J was essentially the entire reason I got help in the first place. He walked me to the counseling center and made sure I arranged an appointment. He actually tried to make the appointment for me, but I had to be present for the initial request. He continued to support me through the highs and lows that followed. I know he would have supported me the best he could all the way from Colorado, but when things were really bad, it was helpful to have him right there beside me.
I have a few theories about why J may have left the academy, but this post is already fairly long, so perhaps I will save that discussion for another time. First I will see how well my husband responds to this one!
J, as I will call him in the public sphere, went to the Air Force Academy. It was his goal to attend USAFA starting sophomore year of high school. He liked planes, and while he found the design of military jets to be particularly interesting, he thought the prospect of flying them was even more alluring. With the aim of becoming a pilot, J worked to gain his appointment to the academy. He was well into this process when I entered the picture, and our relationship was still new when he learned of his acceptance.
I was unsure what distance and a military commitment would mean for our future, but I was very supportive of J. He seemed pretty enthusiastic. A brief emotional withdrawal during my graduation party was the only hint of hesitance on his part. When it came time for him to leave, I traveled to Pittsburgh with his mother to see him off. His summer would be spent in basic cadet training, so I would only hear from him if he found a spare moment to write.
After a few days, I did start to receive a few letters from J. I think he mostly provided details about the training; the notes were devoid of any insight into his emotions. I was surprised and a little worried later in the summer when I missed a call from him with a message asking me to call him back. I was concerned that he had somehow gotten hurt. I was not expecting him to announce that he was leaving USAFA.
His mother and I again made the trip to Pittsburgh, this time to retrieve him. We stopped for lunch at a Cracker Barrel. When he called the waitress "ma'am," she laughed and said it was too formal. He then told her he was used to saying "sir" and "ma'am" because he was required to address people formally at the academy. He told her several stories from school, and he talked to us nonstop about his experiences. My husband does not talk a lot, so that was very out of character for him.
It seemed weird to me that J would have chosen to leave the Air Force Academy when all his stories were so positive. He said he felt like he fit in with his classmates. He didn't mind the more unpleasant aspects of basic training, choosing to think of the experience as a game. Yet, if you were to ask J today why he left, he wouldn't be able to answer with certainty.
It makes me uncomfortable to think that he may have stayed at the academy if he hadn't been in a relationship with me. I don't want to be part of any regrets he may have. Truthfully, though, I am glad he came back.
As I noted in an earlier post, college was when I first sought counseling. J was essentially the entire reason I got help in the first place. He walked me to the counseling center and made sure I arranged an appointment. He actually tried to make the appointment for me, but I had to be present for the initial request. He continued to support me through the highs and lows that followed. I know he would have supported me the best he could all the way from Colorado, but when things were really bad, it was helpful to have him right there beside me.
I have a few theories about why J may have left the academy, but this post is already fairly long, so perhaps I will save that discussion for another time. First I will see how well my husband responds to this one!
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