Stream of Consciousness: Free Time

My thoughts might look something like this if I paused to record them:

I have a moment when the kids don't need my immediate attention and nothing is scheduled. What should I do?

 I should probably clean. I think the bedrooms need to be vacuumed. Or I could wipe down the baseboards and windowsills. I read that you should wet wipe those once per week. I definitely have not done that. If the kids develop lead poisoning, it will probably be my fault for not wiping the sills often enough. Now that I'm thinking of the house, we have so many projects. Wiring, the bedrooms, stripping and repainting the trim, finishing the bathroom, maybe tearing down the porch. Should we build a deck there? A patio? What would we use the most? How can we make the backyard more user-friendly for the kids?

 Hmm, maybe I should do something with the kids. Pinterest craft? Music time? Cultural enrichment? I could read them a book about math or science. I wonder if I read enough to N. I feel like I haven't devoted as much one-on-one time to him as I did to his sister when she was little. I've probably stunted his intellectual growth. How else am I screwing up motherhood?

 I'm craving something sweet (stress?), but I should probably take a walk instead. I need to get more steps in today. Last week I noticed that one of the moms at school has a very slender neck. I've never had a thin neck, even in high school, when I was smaller. I wonder what people think when they look at me. Am I an embarrassment? I probably was a few years ago when I weighed a lot more. I wish I could erase that period from my history. 

 Maybe my husband will want to walk with me. Or he might want to watch something together on Netflix. I feel like we don't have a lot of  time to ourselves lately. Do we even talk about anything not related to the kids or house?

 I could talk about the book I was reading if I had made more progress than three pages. It seems like I only read children's books these days. I miss the time when I could finish a novel in under a week. How long ago was that? I often fall asleep while reading now because it is limited primarily to nighttime.

 Time...time...what time is it? It's that late already? Guess I used up all my free time trying to decide what to do with it!

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