Birthday Wishes

Things can get a little lonely when you are a parent of young children, especially if you stay home with them. You might not have much interaction with other adults on a daily basis, and your kids are probably not a source of deep conversation.

It was this reality I faced when my birthday approached this past spring. I generally do not have high expectations for my birthdays, but I looked forward to getting a few more texts than usual and maybe having a small party with close family members. I hoped the sense of isolation would subside for a bit.

That didn't happen. An unexpected number of individuals forgot my birthday. Only one friend checked in with me on the day itself. My mom bought cupcakes, but we didn't eat them together as a family. Due to some incorrect assumptions and miscommunication, there was no party; no one sang to me. I felt a greater sense of loneliness than usual.

I'm not the kind of person who needs a lot of gifts, and I dislike being the center of attention. But I do like to be acknowledged once in awhile. For my next birthday, my only wish is that people let me know they are thinking of me.


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Stages of Grief

  We have big news They announced out of the blue And I joked that they were going to tell use you were dead But while I said it in jest, They did, in fact, tell us you were gone And just like that, I had to process the loss - All the things we had accomplished, all the memories and plans for the future Gone I was heartbroken And angry But no one asked how I felt And no one else seemed to feel the same pain I was told to smile and move on As if your demise was no more noteworthy than a change in the weather As if people weren't spewing venom in your absence Saying you deserved to die And maybe you should've been gone a long time ago But I did as I was told As I always do While trying to honor your legacy I pondered how to move on without you And eventually the pain dulled And the bleeding stopped But sometimes I remember Everything that was lost And how I was denied a chance to mourn And I cry again In secret Alone
Read more

Little Red Lines

  Little red lines, Run far and free. Be a river whisking me to heaven; Let me drown in your life-giving force. Little red lines, Connect my scattered dots. Trace lines along this battered vessel; Shadow its empty hollows. Little red lines, Mingle with the air. After all, you are fed by oxygen, Though it no longer sustains me. Little red lines, Make my vision rosy. Paint the external world a vibrant hue; Leave me a sight to be seen. Little red lines, Take my breath away. Pour my soul into the earth And return me to my peaceful home. Little red lines, Be my map on this journey. Guide me to my destination; Outline my path along the way. -November 22, 2007- Sometimes I wish I had acted in 2007 instead of simply writing. Then I wouldn't be here, in the middle of this mess. I wouldn't be struggling with the pain, the isolation, the fear, and the questions surrounding a global pandemic. I wouldn't be wondering why inconvenience is a more powerful motivator than compassion for som...
Read more

"Two-faced"

When looking for the poem in my previous post, I sifted through many other works written in high school. In some, the intention was very clear. In others, I had to consider the date and context to tease out the meaning. Such was the case for the following poem. Before I share the work, I'd like to provide some background. I was fairly lucky when it came to my high school class. It wasn't the stereotypical situation in which popular girls picked on everyone else. Yes, there were "cool girls," and if you weren't friends with them, you wouldn't be invited to their parties. If you sat next to them in class, however, they were usually rather friendly. Also, to be fair, they weren't invited to the parties my friends threw, either. I'd say our class was made up more of "friend groups" than "cliques." There were some exceptions, but as a whole, everyone was pretty nice. And yet, I was still bullied in high school. I'm sure this is ...
Read more