Protecting His Family

Several months ago, one of my husband's coworkers asked him if we have a gun in the house. When my husband answered in the negative, the coworker responded with something along the lines of, "do you have a crazy liberal wife who won't let you? You need to get one anyway to protect your family." My husband replied that the decision was his and that he was satisfied with his choice.

J's response was mostly true, but it omitted a lot of information. If I had been present for the conversation, I would have liked to add several things.

First of all, the coworker's assessment of me as a "crazy liberal" is correct in neither aspect. I don't identify with a political party. I am also not crazy - though I do suffer from mental illness, and I suppose some individuals would lump all of those conditions together and collectively call them "insanity."

It is precisely because of this fact, though, that J's decision not to own a gun IS a decision to protect his family. Ignoring any other reasons we would or would not choose to have a gun in the house, my husband doesn't want me to have access to a gun because he wants me to be safe.

In the past, I have been a danger to myself. How significant was the threat? I don't know. I don't believe that, given the opportunity, I ever would have done irreversible damage. Additionally, I am in a relatively good place right now, and I have been stable for several years, so there is no present danger. However, there is no way to know what the future holds. The disease is unpredictable and can be triggered at any point. It could return in a stronger form. Given the uncertainty, we'd rather be safe than sorry.

Even though, in my moments of darkness, I doubt whether anyone cares about me, I am willing to bet that my parents rest easier knowing that I don't have immediate access to a gun. My closest friends would also respect and support that decision.

But let's return to my husband. To the person who told J he wasn't protecting his family - the opposite is true. My husband loves me and wants me to stay alive.

So we don't have a gun.

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