Packet of Wildflower Seeds

Halloween is approximately one and a half weeks away. How did that happen? I put up decorations. We have gone to Zoo Boo. Somehow, it still doesn't feel like Halloween season. The uncharacteristically warm weather might contribute to that fact. I imagine that I haven't paused long enough to soak up autumn, either. When I think about experiencing holidays, I often think about what made them special during my childhood. To that extent, I have determined that certain holidays are associated with certain rooms in my parents' house. Thanksgiving, not surprisingly, makes me think of the dining room. That is pretty much the only day of the year we use the room for its intended purpose. Christmas makes me think of the living room. Many evenings I would sit on the couch and listen to Christmas music while all the lights were off except the ones on the tree. My mom does a great job decorating the tree, and I felt very calm and present in those moments. What about Halloween? Most ...

Today was testing day for students at my school, which meant the juniors took the PSAT. Lately, I've been thinking a lot about the day I took the PSAT.  I was sitting in a classroom, probably on the third floor, with my pencils and calculator ready, listening to the morning announcements. At the end, one of the guidance counselors got on the system and informed us that she needed to make a special announcement. She said the administrators carefully considered whether the information should be given to us immediately preceding such an important test, but they ultimately felt that we had the right to know, especially since rumors were probably already circulating.  What news did we hear that autumn morning? A student had committed suicide. She was in the grade below mine and, if I recall correctly, had been in my math class. I didn't really know her, but I remember the shock and sadness that fell over the school in the aftermath of this heartbreaking revelation. We held a...

I have five or six topics saved that I mean to discuss eventually. Some of them would work really well right now: an exploration of prayer or perhaps a reflection on last year's trip to Scotland, for example. While I look forward to writing and sharing those posts, I decided to go a little darker tonight. Currently, I am in a pretty stable position when it comes to my anxiety and depression. When I am stressed, lonely, or sad, though, the negative voices get louder. They become more convincing. They always tell me that I am not enough. I am not enough for my family. I don't know how to clean, organize, prepare meals, and still find quality time with them. I don't think I read enough to my kids. No matter what I accomplish in the morning, it comes at the expense of something else. I may have done a load of laundry and hung it outside, put away yesterday's load, and washed the dishes, but my son was on his tablet that morning. Maybe another day I took him to play spor...

I have had an outline of this topic for several weeks now. Even though I should probably grade some essays instead, today seems like a good day to tackle this post. I don't tend to post much about politics. There are several reasons for this. First of all, I don't add strangers to my social media. That means I know all of my "friends." I respect them and realize that they have unique life experiences that contribute to their beliefs. I am not trying to negate their family histories and backgrounds. Secondly, social media tends to exaggerate our differences. I suspect that in most cases, if I spoke with a person individually, we would agree more than we disagree. We have similar values, but we might promote those values in different ways. If I can't come across sincerely and respectfully through a certain medium, I don't want to use that platform to share my beliefs. Finally, I want people to like me. If I don't say anything controversial, no one can h...

I have been to New York City precisely once in my life. I was only there one day, so some people might claim I haven't REALLY been to NYC. Their arguments probably have some merit, but I loved that day spent in the city. My sister suggested the trip, and we explored New York together. At the time, she was in graduate school in Delaware. I was living just outside of Philadelphia so that I could attend optometry school. She drove up to collect me at my apartment before we headed to a train stop in New Jersey. From there, we took the train into the city. I believe my sister had previously been to New York, but we mostly navigated our journey together. We saw Times Square up close and the Statue of Liberty from afar. We peeked through the fence to see the progress at the World Trade Center site. We took a picture of Alexander Hamilton's grave (because I thought he was cool before the musical said he was cool). I tried margherita pizza for the first time, and it is now my favori...

When I first started dating my husband, I didn't know that his father had passed away when J was only eleven. My aunt lived next door to J's economics teacher at the time. The teacher made some comment to my aunt about J not having a father, and my aunt asked me about it. I didn't know the answer. It was early in our relationship, so I was too shy to ask J about his family. Instead, I asked one of his friends if J's father was alive. The friend thought he was. Therefore, I assumed the economics teacher was mistaken. A few weeks later, the paper wrote a story about J. He told me the story might mention that his father was deceased. He didn't offer me any more details, and I didn't ask him to elaborate. I was surprised, however, that his friend hadn't known that J's father was no longer alive. Why didn't J talk about it? I don't remember the exact timeline, but I believe several months passed before J finally told me how his father had died. Hi...

"I better hurry," Samantha told the thick air. Something was causing her to grow a bit nervous. She began to search quickly through drawers, desks, cupboards - all of which were bare. After a few hours, she began to get discouraged. The temperature seemed to be racing upward. Samantha grew uncomfortable even though she was used to brutal southern summers, even in the particularly difficult swampy regions. Samantha sat down in order to rest, but her breathing did not become any less labored. At that moment, lights flickered in the house. Samantha hadn't remembered turning any on. Looking up, she noticed that the electricity and other modern conveniences seemed rather out of place in a house that was definitely built before the 19th century. She began to wonder if the contemporary appliances were added merely for effect, and to test her theory, she approached the faucet to see if the water would actually run. She turned the faucet on, and water slowly began to drip into t...