We Can Do Better
I have a brother-in-law who once posted an article about a woman revived after a lightning strike. Her recovery was considered a miracle since she was thought to be dead. After she was revived, she claimed that she had traveled through hell and could discern the sins that had led individuals there. She said the deepest level, full of the worst suffering and completely isolated from God, was reserved for those who had committed suicide.
I'm sure my relative shared the story to encourage people to think more seriously about the fate of their souls and the consequences of their actions. While I wondered about the theological validity of the woman's claims (and even whether or not her "experience" was actually a side effect of the lightning strike), I kept thinking that my brother-in-law was willing to promote a story that proclaimed suicidal individuals are the worst type of people.
Stigma, judgment, fear - many things prevent individuals with mental illness from receiving the help they need. Even misunderstandings, like my brother-in-law's post probably was, can lead people to feel worse and withdraw.
We have to do better. We have to be willing to talk about mental illness in a constructive, proactive manner. We have to allow individuals to share their stories without judgment. We have to encourage people to seek help when they need it, and we have to be willing to listen when they need a safe space. Our words matter, so we need to start considering them more carefully.
Sometimes, even when we think we are being helpful, we could be doing more harm than good. Consider, for example, stories about exercise or herbal supplements "curing" depression. A healthy lifestyle is, of course, extremely important for overall well-being. For mild depression, lifestyle changes alone might suffice in managing the condition. A person with more severe depression, who has already tried to be more active and healthy, could read that article as a criticism. Depression makes people more vulnerable to self-esteem issues. They already feel low, and if exercise hasn't helped, they might blame themselves. They might think they weren't good enough or didn't work hard enough to fight the illness alone.
There is no panacea for mental illness. Individuals are unique and will need unique treatment plans. For some, that will mean pharmaceutical help. They might need medicine temporarily, until they can manage on their own again, or they might need it for the rest of their lives. Whatever they need to do is okay, and we need to encourage them to get the help they need. If I were sharing an article about exercise and depression, then, I would be careful in how I phrased it. I might say that the benefits of physical activity are vast and include potentially mitigating mild depression. Of course, more severe cases require other treatments in addition to exercise, and there is no shame if you need that help.
It's easy to pause before we post. Think about how your words could sound to someone who might feel overwhelmed and alone. Making a simple change in what you say might make a huge difference to someone who hears it.
I'm sure my relative shared the story to encourage people to think more seriously about the fate of their souls and the consequences of their actions. While I wondered about the theological validity of the woman's claims (and even whether or not her "experience" was actually a side effect of the lightning strike), I kept thinking that my brother-in-law was willing to promote a story that proclaimed suicidal individuals are the worst type of people.
Stigma, judgment, fear - many things prevent individuals with mental illness from receiving the help they need. Even misunderstandings, like my brother-in-law's post probably was, can lead people to feel worse and withdraw.
We have to do better. We have to be willing to talk about mental illness in a constructive, proactive manner. We have to allow individuals to share their stories without judgment. We have to encourage people to seek help when they need it, and we have to be willing to listen when they need a safe space. Our words matter, so we need to start considering them more carefully.
Sometimes, even when we think we are being helpful, we could be doing more harm than good. Consider, for example, stories about exercise or herbal supplements "curing" depression. A healthy lifestyle is, of course, extremely important for overall well-being. For mild depression, lifestyle changes alone might suffice in managing the condition. A person with more severe depression, who has already tried to be more active and healthy, could read that article as a criticism. Depression makes people more vulnerable to self-esteem issues. They already feel low, and if exercise hasn't helped, they might blame themselves. They might think they weren't good enough or didn't work hard enough to fight the illness alone.
There is no panacea for mental illness. Individuals are unique and will need unique treatment plans. For some, that will mean pharmaceutical help. They might need medicine temporarily, until they can manage on their own again, or they might need it for the rest of their lives. Whatever they need to do is okay, and we need to encourage them to get the help they need. If I were sharing an article about exercise and depression, then, I would be careful in how I phrased it. I might say that the benefits of physical activity are vast and include potentially mitigating mild depression. Of course, more severe cases require other treatments in addition to exercise, and there is no shame if you need that help.
It's easy to pause before we post. Think about how your words could sound to someone who might feel overwhelmed and alone. Making a simple change in what you say might make a huge difference to someone who hears it.
Kristen, thank you so much for sharing this piece. I appreciate your thoughtfulness, sensitivity, and knowledge on this subject. Depression and anxiety have impacted my life in many ways as I am sure they have for many. I have/ had family members and close friends who have experienced the pain, loneliness, and desperation of living with depression and anxiety. I have also battled with both, on and off, for most of my life. Our family has lost a family member and a dear friend to suicide. Did I ever have suicidal thoughts?h Yes. The pain and suffering can feel that overwhelming. Would God judge us in those times of great suffering and desperation? Like you, I do not believe God would. As you so eloquently put, what is needed is understanding, compassion, care, support; not harsh criticism and judgement. And for those who could no longer fight the battle and endure the suffering, I do not believe our loving God would judge and condemn them. I believe our two loved ones are being cared for and lovingly held in God's arms. I also believe the lack of knowledge, judgement, and stigma that still surround mental illness must deeply sadden God. Thank you for speaking out and educating. Thank you for helping me find the courage to speak out too.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Tracy, for responding and for your kind words. I know my primary goal is to write so that I have a chance to exercise my reasoning abilities and to share my thoughts, but it helps so much to know that others are reading, too. I really appreciate you taking the time not only to read my post, but to respond and share your own story.
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