Packet of Wildflower Seeds

On the last day I had my seniors, I tried to give them an inspirational talk. It sounded better the second time I gave it after I had a chance to focus and refine it. Of course this isn't the exact speech, but this is generally what I told my students: Throughout the course of the year, there have been two things we didn't necessarily explicitly discuss but which I hope have been the foundation of everything we've done. The first is faith. I personally believe that the study of science is also a way to learn about God. Since God is universal, everything in nature reflects Him. It is amazing to consider how DNA controls all body functions or how the laws of physics operate in the universe. So many scientific phenomena and principles are intricate yet elegant. Even after learning about them, you still can't believe they are possible. Whether you believe that God created the world as described in the Bible, that there is no God, or that the truth lies somewhere in be...

I've been struggling a little more than usual lately. I don't know if stress or other circumstances have played a role, but I know that I've had a hard time accepting myself and being positive in the past month or so. Over the weekend, I woke up and felt in my soul that I am going to die from this disease. Now, before you call 911 on my behalf, I don't mean that I am planning to take my own life. Many days, though, I feel that my condition has already sucked the life out of me. In so many ways, depression is winning. I'm never sure if I will find enough happiness to make up for the pain and doubt I experience. I don't know if I will ever be comfortable with myself. I wonder if I can let go of my fears and regrets. When things don't seem worthwhile, it's possible that I won't take care of myself like I should, which could impact my health. Many other conditions are also linked to depression. If they manifest, their physical toll could send me fu...

By now you know a little bit about my story, and there is a good chance you also know other individuals struggling with anxiety or depression. You may be wondering about some ways you can support those who are suffering from mental illness. I am certainly not an an expert, but in my experience, it is most helpful when someone stands by me (emotionally and physically) when I am in my worst moments. You have to show your friends that you love them, ugly parts and all. During one of my most difficult periods several years ago, I struggled to function normally. Leaving the house - or even my room - was a challenge. During that time, an individual confronted me about missing church, saying he was "concerned for my soul." In my depressed state, I heard, "I think you're going to hell." And while the individual may have been looking out for my spiritual well-being, he never once asked about my emotional state. He never once asked what he could do to support me. I ...

Many years ago, I read a letter to the editor that really gave me pause. In it, a (presumably young) man insisted that instead of promoting abstinence-only programs, Christians should encourage individuals to engage in sex before marriage. The reason, he explained, was that couples need to know if they are sexually compatible before making a commitment. "You wouldn't buy a car without test driving it first," he declared. I am not going to debate the merits of various sex-education programs, nor will I philosophize about the morality of anyone's life decisions. I want to focus on this particular claim and how laughable it is. First of all, it is offensive to be compared to a car. I am not an object to be tested and purchased; marriage is not a transaction. Marriage (at least, the sacramental kind) is a covenant. That means husband and wife mutually pledge themselves to each other for the duration of their natural lives. There is no "buyer" and "selle...

I remember after Kim Kardashian posted a typically revealing picture she expressed frustration that people labeled her a poor role model. She said that since she doesn't get in trouble with the law and doesn't drink or do drugs she didn't understand why it would make anyone upset that she was proud of her body and shared that with the world. I agree with the naysayers: I think the Kardashians are terrible role models. The reason has both everything and nothing to do with their controversial pictures. It's not that they post the pictures; it's that they ONLY post those pictures. No matter how hard the Kardashians claim they work, their success is entirely built around image. They peddle clothing, cosmetics, and diet pills by convincing us we have to look a certain way in order to be acceptable. The waist trainers, the lip kits, the "revenge body," - all of their products are tied into conforming to societal beauty standards. Furthermore, despite the f...

I feel very grateful that I have never experienced physical abuse. I was the victim of emotional abuse in high school, however, when I repeatedly turned down a classmate's request to date. Eventually he told me I was the reason he was depressed and he tried to make me feel like a terrible person. I have friends who have experienced much worse. Girls were told they were the "worst thing that happened" to their partners. A classmate claimed that her bruises, visible during pool class, were from martial arts, but we all knew better. One of my closest friends had an ex who attempted suicide and wrote a note essentially blaming her. She was smart enough to realize it wasn't her fault, but she was still very traumatized by the experience. Then there are the girls who simply cease to exist after beginning a relationship; nothing remains of their former personalities as they transform into extensions of their partners. Change is inevitable - and even welcomed - but there is...

I wrote the following poem about the city of Philadelphia, though it represents the conflicted feelings we can have about any place, object, or event from the past: It's been two years since our painful break Two years - and still my heart does ache I'm paralyzed whenever I come near Plagued by gnawing thoughts and indistinct fear I can visualize one starry night When I was captivated by city lights Peace came to rest within my soul And I dared believe I could be whole But tranquility toyed with my fragile self And I fell from the blow I had been dealt I hope this nightmare does not last So I may return to the city long since passed As you may recall from my earliest posts (or knowledge of my background), I attended optometry school outside of Philadelphia. In those months, I hit a turning point in my struggles with anxiety. Things got really bad. I felt isolated and overwhelmed. It seemed like I was alone. Partly because of those facts, I did what nobody wan...