Packet of Wildflower Seeds

Growing up, I generally wrote poetry to express my feelings; with no intended audience I had no concern for how "good" my work sounded. However, in high school - the time of learning new SAT vocabulary and literary analysis terms - I sometimes tried to throw in words just because I had recently learned them. Other times I used words simply because I liked the sensory experience they evoked. For example, many of my poems contain the word "obsidian" because I think it conveys a darker and more mysterious picture than other options. It is from these habits that "Twilight on Summer" was born. I wanted to write a poem about the change of seasons, but upon reading the work, it is also obvious that I wanted to use some fancy words. At the time I wrote it, I remember being very satisfied with my impressive vocabulary. Now that I am older, when I revisit the poem, I cringe. Too much of it doesn't make sense! Take a look: Summer drains along blackened eaves ...

This summer I had the opportunity to attend an Evanescence concert. I started listening to Evanescence in high school; I appreciated that they touched upon deeper subjects, but they did so in a haunting, beautiful way rather than a make-your-ears-bleed style like heavy metal. Not everyone may like their music, but it's hard to argue that Amy Lee doesn't have a great voice. One day I was listening to Pandora, and a song played from Evanescence's little-known demo album Origin . I really liked the song, so I tried to find it from other sources. This led me to YouTube and another song from Origin : "Field of Innocence." The song discusses the loss of childhood innocence and wonder. The powerful lyrics include the following: I want to go back to believing in everything and knowing nothing at all This touches upon so many maternal nerves right now. First of all, time is passing too quickly. My kids are getting bigger, and I feel like these moments are slipping th...

Over and over again, we are told to ask for help when we need it. "Don't be a hero." "Don't try to do it all yourself." "Don't keep it all inside." So I ask for help. I admit when I'm feeling overwhelmed. I seek out the advice of those I respect, who know more than I do and who have been there before. Yet recently when I said I was going through a rough period and I asked people to contact me if it was okay to talk to them, only two individuals reached out to ask if I was alright. It's not just emotional assistance. I've asked for help with work or family issues and gotten no response. Sometimes people tell me they will get back to me, and they never do. I may remind them, and they say they will have an answer the next day, but I never get an answer. Sometimes they don't even respond to my initial inquiry. I feel like my e-mails go straight to their trash folders. In the end, I'm left dealing with the issue by myself...

On the last day I had my seniors, I tried to give them an inspirational talk. It sounded better the second time I gave it after I had a chance to focus and refine it. Of course this isn't the exact speech, but this is generally what I told my students: Throughout the course of the year, there have been two things we didn't necessarily explicitly discuss but which I hope have been the foundation of everything we've done. The first is faith. I personally believe that the study of science is also a way to learn about God. Since God is universal, everything in nature reflects Him. It is amazing to consider how DNA controls all body functions or how the laws of physics operate in the universe. So many scientific phenomena and principles are intricate yet elegant. Even after learning about them, you still can't believe they are possible. Whether you believe that God created the world as described in the Bible, that there is no God, or that the truth lies somewhere in be...

I've been struggling a little more than usual lately. I don't know if stress or other circumstances have played a role, but I know that I've had a hard time accepting myself and being positive in the past month or so. Over the weekend, I woke up and felt in my soul that I am going to die from this disease. Now, before you call 911 on my behalf, I don't mean that I am planning to take my own life. Many days, though, I feel that my condition has already sucked the life out of me. In so many ways, depression is winning. I'm never sure if I will find enough happiness to make up for the pain and doubt I experience. I don't know if I will ever be comfortable with myself. I wonder if I can let go of my fears and regrets. When things don't seem worthwhile, it's possible that I won't take care of myself like I should, which could impact my health. Many other conditions are also linked to depression. If they manifest, their physical toll could send me fu...

By now you know a little bit about my story, and there is a good chance you also know other individuals struggling with anxiety or depression. You may be wondering about some ways you can support those who are suffering from mental illness. I am certainly not an an expert, but in my experience, it is most helpful when someone stands by me (emotionally and physically) when I am in my worst moments. You have to show your friends that you love them, ugly parts and all. During one of my most difficult periods several years ago, I struggled to function normally. Leaving the house - or even my room - was a challenge. During that time, an individual confronted me about missing church, saying he was "concerned for my soul." In my depressed state, I heard, "I think you're going to hell." And while the individual may have been looking out for my spiritual well-being, he never once asked about my emotional state. He never once asked what he could do to support me. I ...

Many years ago, I read a letter to the editor that really gave me pause. In it, a (presumably young) man insisted that instead of promoting abstinence-only programs, Christians should encourage individuals to engage in sex before marriage. The reason, he explained, was that couples need to know if they are sexually compatible before making a commitment. "You wouldn't buy a car without test driving it first," he declared. I am not going to debate the merits of various sex-education programs, nor will I philosophize about the morality of anyone's life decisions. I want to focus on this particular claim and how laughable it is. First of all, it is offensive to be compared to a car. I am not an object to be tested and purchased; marriage is not a transaction. Marriage (at least, the sacramental kind) is a covenant. That means husband and wife mutually pledge themselves to each other for the duration of their natural lives. There is no "buyer" and "selle...